22 Places You Can Buy a Copy of Roatan New Times: BEST OF ROATAN 2011

THE MAGAZINE IS FOR SALE AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS, NOT ALWAYS IN THE FREEZER SECTION.

A big shout out to Susan Reed and Kevin Stratton for making these award certificates look like something anyone would be proud to receive. A quality job all around.

Suitable for framing or lamination.

Here are 22 places you can get the magazine. Or just come over. I’ll sell you one right off the truck. Like that dude with the limes.

 

Eldon’s
Plaza Mar
Hyper Mega
Bulk Gourmet

Sunshine Cafe

Mangiamo

Cool Beans
Sundowners
The Hungry Munkey
Kika’s Ice Cream
Rudy’s

Lighthouse
Captain Vans

The so-called “Miny Mart” behind Beachers

Blue Bahia
The Deck
Roatan Radio
Lands End
Celeste’s
Noodle Shack
Fresh Bakery
Roatan Life Real Estate

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New Alvin and the Chipmunks Movie Used Roatan Cruise Ship For Scene

BY JEFF STRATTON

According to a press release on digitalproduction.com, sound mixer David Husby found a few challenges while recording “an important dialogue scene deck side on a cruise ship as it steamed away from Roatan.”

The production crew “battled engine noise and waves slapping against the hull.” Somehow, Husby, his crew and his equipment triumphed.

Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked will be released on December 16.

Miami Telecom Chief Pleads Guilty of Bribing Hondutel Officials

Jorge Granados Enters Guilty Plea, Faces Five Years and $250,000 Fine

BY JEFF STRATTON

According to an FBI press release and US court documents, a Miami firm called LatiNode offered bribes to Honduran government officials connected with Hondutel. As much as $500,000 was given to at least three Honduran officials. Granados was the founder and CEO of LatiNode.

Another defendant, Manuel Caceres, is a Honduran citizen living legally in Miami and working for LatiNode. After winning an exclusive contract with Hondutel in 2005, LatiNode learned it would have to substantially lower its rates or risk losing the contract. Not long afterward, according to the indictment, a LatiNode memo sent to Caceres said doing business with Hondutel would be difficult “because we know they expect something under the table.”

So the two decided to bribe Honduran officials, including a senior Hondutel executive, a Hondutel attorney, and a government minister. Those officials told LatiNode where to start depositing the bribe money. By 2006, cash started flowing from Miami banks to Central American bank accounts. The deposits continued through 2007, when Granados ordered LatiNode’s IT dude to remove any reference to Hondutel from the company’s e-mail servers.

Granados was arrested in 2010, and as part of his recent plea agreement, faces between 135-168 months in prison.

Caceres is looking at 87-108 months’ imprisonment.

Former Roatan Waiter Sentenced For Kiddie Porn Possession in Pennsylvania

Charles Lefebvre Sent To (ha ha) Fort Dix

BY JEFF STRATTON

I hope the federal prison in Ft. Dix, New Jersey, keeps Charles Lefebrve in with the general population for a while. And I hope some of his buddies behind bars read this and know exactly what Lefebvre was convicted of last week.

I hear they hate pedophiles in prison, and while Lefebvre wasn’t charged with molesting kids, what prosecutors found on his computer was sick and beyond twisted — including videos of men having sex with girls as young as six.

Lefebvre, 27, was living here on Roatan and working as a waiter, avoiding arrest, according to a Pennsylvania paper. In 2010 ICE nabbed him (still not certain where/how) so he could face possession of child porn charges in Eastern Pennsylvania federal court. On May 2, he was sentenced to 60 months in prison and hit with a $5,000 fine.

According to the docs, Lefebvre was busted when he used his own credit card to pay for a child-porn website called Illegal CP. When agents showed up at his house, he admitted having thousands of images on his computer he’d downloaded from LimeWire.

I just got the case file and I’m going to go through it today (there’s a lot more to tell you about this), but to give you an idea of how gross Lefebvre’s twisted mind was, I’m attaching this. It lets you know what Lefebvre’s tastes ran to:

Pretty sick shit. He’ll probably get what he deserves in prison.

Who knows what he did while on the island? If anyone has more information on this case, please contact me here. I haven’t seen this story in the Voice. I’d like to know what this sick f*ck was up to while he lived here among us.

Jack is Back! This Thursday Night at Lands End!

Jack Lewis Returns to Rock Roatan

BY JEFF STRATTON

Remember this dude? Jack, who apparently owned no shirts? The guy who played cover songs and entertained crowds all over West End about 3.5 years ago?

Sure you do. How could you forget?

Jack Lewis, the raconteur who recklessly rocked Roatan all those summers ago, is back on the rock. He’s performing at at open mic at Lands End, his old haunt, tomorrow night (Thursday, May 12) at sunset. He’s only here for a week, so don’t miss your chance. I’m heading down there with a melodica and a drum machine. Don’t miss it, kids.

Jack and Harmony at Lands End

I’d recommend that anyone and everyone with a sense of fun and humor attend. Lands End, a wonderful if under-utilized spot, is trailblazing a Roatan renaissance. The place is jamming again. Lionfish is on the menu, there’s a cool dive-master/ bartender (Joe) with great music and stories, a ring and a string and a hook, and a spectacular view at sunset.

SOL International Foundation held a big fundraiser there last Sunday, Mark Flanagan is starting up a Tuesday Quiz Night, and the place just generally contains a solidly fun and entertaining vibe that shouldn’t stay a secret.

Part of that essence is found in Lands End’s incredible staff, including the adorably silly Eva and her uncle, the immensely talented Adi. Adi plays bass for Brion James and at least one other project, and has single-handedly led the fledgling Roatan New Times to a level of visual professionalism and sophistication that was previously unimaginable.

Oh yeah. The first edition of our new Roatan magazine, The Best of Roatan 2011, hits the street in about 10 days. We’ll be folding up this little blog and tucking it inside our new project, Roatan New Times, and we’ll be unveiling our second issue sometime in June. That will contain a feature story you may have heard about before…I’m sure I’ll take some shit for it in West End, but oh well. It’ll also have a full-color restaurant section, a ton of satire, a profile of Brion James himself, and it won’t be just me writing for it.

We’ve sent the pages to San Pedro Sula, where La Prensa is printing our first edition this week. Very soon, the Bay Islands Voice will no longer be the only game in town. Excited? So are we. Stay tuned, folks. This is happening.

Jam Cruise Abandons Roatan, Local Patchouli Sale Plummet

BY JEFF STRATTON

See this? Looks like fun? Well, it is. Or was.  Whatever, it ain’t happening for us next year, as Celebrity’s re-routing means the Jam Cruise won’t be coming to Roatan, as it has a couple years in the past.

Nope, that jam band-scented voyage (what do you think it smells like on there? Nugs, tie-dies, puppies and patchouli?) is done with our sunny isle.

See here? They’re going to bogus/fake/corporate BS playgrounds in Jamaica and Haiti instead of here. Whoops — did I think that or actually say it?